Girlfriend’s mom thinks I’m not good enough

Dear Pastor,

It is hard to understand why some people want to choose for their children. I am 20 years old and I have a girlfriend who is 18.

We come from the same community. We went to the same primary school, but we did not attend the same high school. I have always liked this girl. She was always very talented. Her mother never accepted me because my parents are poor. But this girl's parents were in good jobs. When she was 16 years old, I tried to take her out. I told my father that was my intention and he gave me money to take a taxi. He wanted to know where I was taking her. I told him that it was to a restaurant and he said that place is expensive, but he gave me money to pay for the meal and told me that I should buy something for her. I was so proud of my father. The young lady was excited. But when she told her mother that I wanted to take her out, she objected and told her daughter that I am not her class. I was so disappointed, but my father encouraged me and told me that I should not allow what her mother said to prevent me from pursuing this girl because she has many years ahead of her.

We did our exams and I won scholarships and got into university. The love we have for each other still remains and we finally had a date while we were in university. It was a lunch date on campus. Our love for each other grew and we are still together. Her mother is still telling her that I am not good enough for her. She told me that she declared to her mother that if she can't marry me, she will not marry at all. The mother is a big hypocrite because whenever she sees me, she is very nice, but behind my back, she rips me apart. I have gone out with other girls and I had sex with a few of them. But I would like to know why this woman hates me. I have never got involved in anything that is illegal, nor have I ever been arrested.

My father recently helped me to buy a car and so I take this young lady home sometimes; her mother seemed to be pleased about that. But she does not invite me in the house. Her father is a police officer and he is very cool, but not her mother. What do you suggest that I do to have these people accept me?

P.T.

Dear P.T

In life you have to be yourself and not everybody will like you. Some people are brainwashed and they believe that they are better than others because they are living in certain areas.

Sometimes some people believe that the colour of their skin has elevated them to certain status, but I tell you: take good care of this girl. Show her love, and if she truly loves you, her parents, especially her mother, will never be able to break the bond that both of you have for each other.

Get yourself a good education so that will put you into a different bracket than people who are not educated. Your girlfriend's mother would be forced to respect you. Always be a gentleman. But before I go, I should caution you. You have had sexual intercourse with some of the girls you have dated. Be very careful, because if this girl who you love so much finds out that is what you are doing, it is likely that she would drop you. I wish you well.

Pastor