Deadbeat husband wants to move back in

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I got married in 2011 and had our first child, a daughter, after six years of waiting.

Three years later, our son was born, and because things were hard on us financially, I helped my husband to go overseas so he could work and better support the family. After two years, he started behaving strangely towards me and the children. There were months when there was literally no communication between us, and he told my daughter not to call his phone.

There is a possibility that I would have willingly forgiven this man if he had only cheated but continued supporting his children. But he hasn't done so for more than two years. Now after four years, he is back in Jamaica and wants to make amends because he needs a roof over his head. Because I have refused to let him back into my life, he is refusing to see the children. My son is now five years old and doesn't even know his father; and my daughter is now asking when she is going to have a daddy. I believe his behaviour is also affecting her in school. At eight, she is having breakdowns and cries a lot.

I recalled him telling me that he wasn't going to send me any money for me to pay for a divorce. I will not allow this man to hold me hostage after abandoning the children and leaving me to support them. It is very hard to pay someone to watch over these children before and after school, depending on my work schedule, and I am only earning minimum wage. I still feed them from what I earn and I try to pay my bills. I cannot afford to pay a lawyer to file for a divorce. I really do need some legal advice about how to go about getting a speedy divorce. I am from the old school and I believe in getting things done the right way. I believe in closing one door, before opening another, so I cannot afford to put my life and the future of my children on hold any longer.

Please help me.

N.S.

Dear N.S.,

It is unfortunate that your husband has destroyed his marriage, but he is back in the island behaving as if he has a right to be with you, and that nothing has happened, so you should embrace him with open arms.

If that is the way he feels, he is indeed a fool. You have to be congratulated for fighting life without him on your small salary. I am not here telling you that you ought to divorce him; your mind has already been made up that he needs to be kicked to the kerb. What a silly man he has been.

I suggest, therefore, that you call the Legal Aid Clinic. There are several offices. You may contact them at 876-922-3761. I wish you well as you seek to resolve this problem.

Pastor