Convinced that my babyfather is sleeping with my friend

Dear Pastor,

I have a complaint that I have to make to you. I am almost 29 and I have a five-year-old daughter.

I have a friend who is my daughter's godmother; she and I live like family. I was going to visit my relatives in St Ann for the weekend, so I asked her to keep my daughter. I asked my child's father to pick up my daughter from school on the Friday and to take her to her godmother.

When I returned from St Ann, my daughter told me that her father spent the whole day with my girlfriend on Saturday. She said that her father took her to spend the day with his mother. So I asked her how did she know that her father spent the day with her godmother and she said she heard them saying that is what they were going to do. They did not come back for her until later that night. I was upset and I asked my girlfriend why she did not tell me that she could not keep my daughter. She said that something came up and she realised that it was not possible. She said that when she told my child's father, he said that his mother would keep my daughter.

My child's father has been finding all kinds of fault with me these days. The latest one is that I am not taking care of my private part very well because he can smell me. I know that is a lie. So to let him know that I have discovered that he is having an affair with my girlfriend, I asked him if her private part is always fresh and he said he wouldn't know that. So I told him he should know because he spent a whole day with her recently. He said spending time with her doesn't mean that he had sex with her. I became very angry and called him a liar. Then he said that he would not deny that my girlfriend likes him, but they are not having an affair.

Recently, I invited my girlfriend to lunch and I asked my child's father if he would come with us. He said no because he is very busy. The day this girl and I were supposed to go for lunch, she cancelled the lunch date, saying she was not feeling well. I had planned to ask both of them if they were seeing each other and having sex. But my plans failed. This girl had bought gifts for me and my child. But I have destroyed everything she gave us. I cut up her pictures in the presence of my boyfriend and he called me crazy. I told him that since she wants him, he can go with her, but before he goes, I want him to give me back the more than $1 million I loaned him. I reminded him that we are living in my father's house and he is not paying rent, so he should prepare to leave after Easter.

Do you think I am too hard on this man.? I have tried to please him in every way and look how he is treating me.

E.R.

Dear E.R.,

Your child's father should have advised you that he had made a different arrangement for your daughter for the weekend.

I am sure you would not have objected to having your daughter stay with her grandmother. But this man evidently was up to some tricks, but it backfired on him. If you and this man genuinely love each other, both of you should go for counselling, so ask him whether he would agree to that. If he is not interested, then make plans for your exit.

You should also demand an apology from him for the way he has described your private part.

Pastor