Brother-in-law won’t help me unless I sleep with him

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I have one child, but the father is in prison. He used to take very good care of me.

He paid my rent and I had money every week to go to the supermarket; but since he got himself into trouble, I have fallen on hard times. I have also lost my job. Twice I had to sleep with one of his friends to pay my bills. I know that his friend will not tell anybody because he lives with his girlfriend. I agreed to sleep with him because my landlord threatened to give me notice, and this is a lovely community. I cannot afford to give up this place. I don't want to continue having sex with his friend, but I am three months behind on the rent.

Last week I called this friend again and when he heard my voice, he said, "Don't tell me you are in trouble again." I said, "Big trouble." He said he could not help me because his mother has to do surgery and it is costing him lots of money. One of his sisters is coming home from America to be with his mother while she recuperates and he will have to pay for her ticket. I told him, "OK, I understand."

My child's father has a brother and I told him about my problem. He said he would help me, but he asked how long I am going to continue to be in trouble, because as he sees it, his brother is going to be in prison for a long time. I was shocked when he said that he would pay the bills, but I had to sleep with him, and he is not going to come to the apartment because people on the complex know him. He did not want his name to be taken to his brother when he visits him in prison. But my bills are piling up on me and his brother can assist me without having sex with me.

Everywhere I turn, men want my body. I told one of my girlfriends that I am suffering and she told me I am too pretty to suffer. I did not do very well in school, so I cannot hold the type of job that I would like to have. The money that my child's father had in the bank ran out. I have an American visa, and I am trying to get one for my daughter so I can leave this place. That might be my only hope.

Please tell me what to do.

Initial Withheld.

Dear Writer,

As you see, I have withheld your initials and deleted a few things that you have said to hide your identity.

I regret that your child's father is incarcerated. It is very sad that you are faced with such hardship that you have to be selling yourself. Only a few months ago, a man told me on my show that he had sex with his friend's woman. He had no mercy on her. When I asked him why he had to go to bed with her, he said it is natural - any man would do it. It is not true that all men would take advantage of such a situation.

You slept with your babyfather's friend a few times to pay the bills, especially the rent. You were quite willing to do so again, but the man is not financially able to comply due to his mother's illness and the financial obligation that he has to bear. It is sad to hear that your boyfriend's brother is willing to help, but you would also have to sleep with him. He is a nasty brother. He has no shame. You would be taking a big risk to agree to that.

You should be willing to do anything legal to earn some money. Although you love the apartment in which you live, you should give it up right now. On the Dear Pastor Show, a caller told me that many more girls are flocking a certain area and selling sex in order to pay their bills. Don't get into that. He said that these girls are beautiful.

If your parents would allow you to return home, be prepared to sleep on the floor with your child until you can do better.

Pastor